Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes
by unicorn1111
Summary: A different take on S02E01, featuring Doctor Maura Isles, Detective Jane Rizzoli and Private Abby Sherman. A light and fluffy piece I just had to get out while working on my more serious pieces.
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own these characters, their ownership resides with the legal rights holders, in particular Tess Gerritson and Janet Tamaro. I'm just grateful for the opportunity to play with them

I loved the character of Abby Sherman, it was a shame they took away such an interesting character so quickly in the name of plot. I decided to play with the characters a little, all in the name of appeasing the story gods.

**Doctor, Detective, Soldier, Heroes**

A different take on Episode 2x1

I watched Jane, standing there at the lectern, tall and straight and beautiful in her BPD uniform, heaping praise on everyone else while playing down play her own heroism. Jane was the real hero that day, putting a bullet through herself to stop Bobby Marino from carrying out his promise to shoot me as a diversion during his escape. I saw her looking round the room, before her eyes came to rest on me as I smiled, letting her know how proud I was of her.

I'd come to love Jane, she was strong and confident and outgoing and compassionate and dedicated and beautiful, I loved her as my best friend, though I found myself wishing for so much more. Unfortunately Jane wasn't interested and so our friendship remained platonic, I needed her too much in my life as my best, closest, most dear friend; there was no way I was going to place that in jeopardy, so I remained the supportive friend, despite my longings.

After the speeches, I turned from a conversation with the Mayor to find Jane talking to Private Abby Sherman, the other hero being honoured tonight. She was tall, taller than Jane actually, red hair and a creamy complexion that the outdoor life of an army soldier had failed to diminish. Both were beautiful women and I smiled, seeing the ease they had with one another. Both strong women doing their job well in male-dominated careers, both admirable, in their uniforms they drew the eye and I confess that seeing them both together like that made my heart beat just a little faster.

I liked men, I really did, but I loved woman at least as much if not more. Men provided stimulation, a generally satisfactory sexual experience and were socially acceptable partners. Women were generally more emotional, giving, intimate and loving. Jane and Abby however seemed to encapsulate the best qualities of both, all those traits wrapped up in gorgeous, dress-uniformed packages.

I strolled over, to be introduced to Abby as Jane's best friend, as well as Boston's medical examiner. I watched as Abby's eyes flitted over me, taking me in, followed by a warm smile as I wondered if Abby was appreciating me as Jane's friend or as an attractive woman. I smiled to myself as we chatted; after all why should she not, I'd just done the same.

It turned out that tonight was Abby's last night in the Army; she was taking a discharge and returning to civilian life, her family was in Boston and she was looking forward to returning to a life free from the regimen of the Army, away from the attention her exploits had generated.

Jane and I smiled before Jane pointed out she felt the same way. They really were similar, both modest women uncomfortable in the spotlight. I watched as they interacted, then smiled happily as Jane handed over her card, telling Abby that if she wanted someone to talk to then she should give Jane a call, even if it's only to keep reminding each other the 'hero BS', as Abby put it, isn't real.

As we rode home in the car that night, I looked across at Jane, sitting there in her uniform and smiled.

"That was not so hard after all was it Jane?" She looked over at me and bobbed her head.

"Once I got to sit down afterwards it got better Maur. Standing up there was horrible" I smiled at her.

"You spoke very well Jane" She sighed; I knew what she was going to say before the words left her lips.

"I'm no hero Maur; I did what I had to; to protect you and Frankie. Lots of people died that day, why should I be singled out, I'm no hero. I shook my head,, partly in frustration at Jane's singular refusal to see what everyone else did.

"Many other people beg to differ Jane. They see you as a hero. I see you as a hero" She shook her head.

"Abby, now she's a hero. She saved a lot of lives back there Maur, did the right thing at the right time and that's why she's a hero, she deserved the recognition tonight, not me" I smiled. Jane Rizzoli was be one of the most stubborn, passionate people I knew, she would never accept the hero tag, denying it till the day she died, but I knew better.

"Well Jane, it seems Abby shares your distaste for the recognition" Jane laughed gently, her voice afterwards was soft.

"Yeah well, she seemed like a good person Maur, I liked her"

"As did I, perhaps you will be able to stay in touch"

"Yeah, I'd like that"

Arriving at home we got changed into casual clothes and sat around for an hour, just chatting, before finishing the conversation in my bedroom, talking till sleep overtook us. The last thing I remember before sleep overtook us was Jane's hand in mine as she spoke, her voice low and sleepy.

"Thanks for being there Maur; I couldn't have done it without you"

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 2**

The next week was busy, Jane's first week back at work, most of it spent catching up on paperwork, requalifying with her pistol, plus two fairly straightforward murder cases, neither of which taxed either Jane's or my skill. It was with interest then that I found Jane striding into the morgue early on Thursday morning as I was finishing up some case notes.

"Hi Maur, how you doing?" I looked up with a smile.

"Much better for your appearance I must say. I was just going over the last of the Chapilwa paperwork. It's all very routine" Her eyebrows rose.

"So nothing out of the ordinary there then?" I shook my head.

"No, all very straightforward, really rather a pleasant change from some of our cases" She turned that lovely Rizzoli grin on me.

"Awesome, we can wrap that one up in a bow and send it off to the DA" I frowned, sure I was missing something.

"Why would we tie it up with a bow?" I got a slow shake of the head and an equally slow smile.

"Figure of speech Maur" I didn't miss the affection in her voice. She looked at me and I caught a slight sense of anxiety from her, making me look at her a trifle closely.

"Is your injury bothering you Jane?" She shook her head, dark curls flying.

"Oh no, no more than usual, I actually came down to ask about something else" I smiled and waited as she looked a little awkward, which to be honest I found looked adorable on her. "It's just you know how we were supposed to have lunch today? Can I take a rain check?"

I looked at her, once again admiring her, tall, lean, striking and gorgeous, even when she wasn't trying. Quietly I sighed inside. '_Oh Maura, you have it so bad_'.

"Of course you can Jane, it was just a casual lunch" She smiled and stepped a little closer, as I held myself very still.

"Thanks Maur, normally I'd love to but Abby Sherman, that Army private..." I nodded to indicate I remembered her. "...she rang, asking if we could catch up. I hope you don't mind" I smiled and nodded in return.

"Of course not, please say hello for me" Jane gave me another of her blinding grins.

"You're the best Maur, thanks for that" I glanced up and caught her eyes.

"It is a pleasure Jane, where were you planning to go for lunch" She shrugged.

"Probably grab a hot dog in the Park; Abby mentioned we could go for a walk, she said it'd be good exercise for both of us"

"Abby is indeed correct Jane. You need to continue your recovery exercise regime if you are to return to full health. Mind you, I am not sure about the nutritional benefits of a hot dog. Perhaps a nice salad might be more nutritious..." Jane smiled once more.

"Thank you for the dietary advice Doctor Isles. I'll give it due consideration" I frowned, I knew Jane far too well.

"Meaning you will ignore it completely" The grin I got was pure Jane, I'd always found it hard to resist and now was no exception. She was already moving, that was so Jane, always in restless motion, like her body could barely restrain her personality. She paused in the doorway.

"Gotta go Maura, see you soon. We still up for Friday night movies?" I smiled.

"Of course, I believe it is my turn to host and your choice of movie"

"Excellent, see you tomorrow night then" I watched as Jane breezed out the door, smiling gently. I really enjoyed our time together but I couldn't begrudge Jane some time with Abby, perhaps a friendship could grow out of it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 3**

Jane and Abby did indeed hit it off, moving from acquaintances to friends in a remarkably short space of time. The more I saw of them together the more I saw the similarities; underneath the surface they were more alike than they knew. A firm friendship had blossomed, one I welcomed as Jane responded to having another friend.

Of course, being the person she was, Jane made sure that I never felt neglected, we continued our regular schedule of activities and if she was doing something with Abby she made sure I was invited. I did accompany them on some of their activities, including swimming, something Abby was very good at and which I believe I enjoyed more than Jane, however she never complained, especially when her therapist encouraged it as excellent exercise.

Other times we went running, caught up for dinner at each other's places and many other activities, though Abby drew the line at yoga, despite my extolling the health benefits over a salad lunch in my kitchen.

"Too much like early morning PT back in the Army Maura, since I left the Army I've realised I like sleeping in" Jane laughed and they bumped fists as I shook my head at them fondly.

I'd grown to admire Abby, she and Jane were so much alike, my love of Jane was paired with a deep affection for Abby, they made each other smile and Abby went out of her way to make sure I too was included I things. We spent a lot of time together, she was fun to be around; obviously she was taking cues from Jane, never once commenting on my sometimes taxing personal quirks and traits, for which I was very grateful.

Over the next two months I watched Jane and Abby grow closer together, only natural given how alike they were. I was not the only one to notice, Jane's mother Angela had complained loudly about Jane finding another tomboy, counteracting all of Angela and my attempts to 'turn her into a lady' as she put it, but I could see the undertones of affection Angela had for the woman who was helping her daughter heal. As for Jane's brother Frankie, he had a completely different interest in Abby, but despite his interest it never seemed to get beyond good-natured flirting and joking.

I however had a few issues that started to arise as time went on. I would not previously have categorized myself as a jealous personality type, however I found myself feeling more and more uneasy in the amount of time Jane and Abby were spending together, It crystalised one afternoon as I pulled up outside Jane's apartment building, to see Jane and Abby playing one-on-one basketball on the street outside her apartment.

As I exited my car, I stood there for a moment, admiring both women; both tall, lean, long-legged, strong and gorgeous inside and out. As I watched them there, caught up in their game, laughing and happily trash talking, I felt sense of unease, seeing them so comfortable together.

Finally they wound down, before Jane looked up and saw me there, walking over to me with a wide smile. As I smiled in return I caught a flash of something in Abby's face, too quick to be sure, but it looked like longing, perhaps mixed with a touch of jealousy. It was gone in an instant, making me doubt what I had seen; certainly she gave no sign as she walked over to greet me warmly.

Standing there between both beautiful women, seeing Jane all hot and sweaty and unconsciously gorgeous, I felt the undeniable longing and attraction to Jane welling in me once again, making me aware that I needed to divert my attention once again, lest my emotions get the better of me.

That afternoon following lunch, after Abby had left I let Jane know I had a night out, seeing her eyes narrow slightly, her protective instincts kicking in.

"It's not Slucky again is it?" I laughed, realising again just how much Jane disliked her trauma surgeon.

"Not at all Jane, I have been very firmly reminded why I do not date surgeons. No, this is the simply a night out, perhaps I might meet someone, a nice lawyer perhaps" I smiled, hopefully helping to put Jane at ease.

"I don't know Maur, isn't that a contradiction on terms?" We descended into our usual banter, as I successfully diverted her attention away from my nocturnal activities.

That night I strolled into the Merch, my preferred ladies-only establishment, now under new owners following the arrest of the previous operator for murder. I was intent on finding someone pretty and fun who could, at least for a night, take my mind off a particularly gorgeous, loving and unattainable detective.

Jane and I had been told by the new management that we had a standing invitation to visit whenever we wanted, while Jane had of course declined, I was a regular here, every month or two, sometimes more often; depending on how difficult I was finding it dealing with my unrequited passion for Jane.

The women here weren't her but for a night at least I could lose myself in the arms of someone else, before waking in the morning, tired and feeling somewhat grubby and awkward, my passions temporarily sated but my anguish still there.

I had taken a seat at the bar, smiling at Tahria, the blonde bartender, she was exceptionally gorgeous and a dreadful flirt but I drew the line at under 25s, I'd found they were often too clingy, many with 'mummy' issues. I was looking for an adult someone, preferably someone who didn't look like Jane, I'd tried that particular tactic several times and found I ended up worse emotionally afterwards than when I had started.

Tahria knew my preferences and delivered my wine to me without asking, together with a saucy wink. I smiled in thanks and savored the taste for a moment, before looking up, feeling someone moving up to stand beside me.

I unconsciously straightened up and smiled, thinking '_and so it begins_' before turning and looking up, straight into the hazel eyes of Abby Sherman.


	4. Chapter 4

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 4**

I sat there, my jaw dropping for a moment, before I gathered my wits, looking up at her.

"Abby, what are you doing here?" She looked down at me, her expression unreadable.

"I was about to ask you the same thing" We were silent for a moment, before we both went to speak, then both stopped. I came to a decision, standing, grabbing my drink and gesturing towards the rear of the club, away from the dance floor and the worst of the noise.

"This way"

Abby followed me through the crowd until I found an unoccupied table and indicated we should sit. We regarded each other for a moment, as the questions ran through me, what was she doing here, would she tell Jane, what would I say? Before I could speak Abby leaned forward, her jaw tight, her voice low and angry.

"Does Jane know you're here?" I shook my head.

"Oh god no, of course not" If anything my words increased her anger.

"So you cheat on her on the side" '_Cheat on her…?_' I shook my head, the notion was absurd.

"Oh heavens no, How could I, Jane and I are not involved" I saw a range of emotion flash across Abby's face, before she leaned forward, her voice still carrying a hint of her anger.

"Coulda fooled me, the amount of time you spend together, the sleep overs, the movie nights, the lunches. Are you trying to tell me you aren't a couple?" '_Jane and I,_ a_ couple?_' The thought was at once both enticing and ludicrous.

"That is exactly what I am telling you Abby, Jane and I are not in a relationship, we are best friends, but nothing more" She leaned back, calming at my words, before looking across at me.

"So what are you doing here?" I toyed with the stem of my glass for a moment, before looking up, playing for time to take stock of the situation.

"I was about to ask you the same thing?" Abby pointed at me.

"You first" I shrugged.

"I was seeking some company for the evening, is that not why one comes to Boston's most popular lesbian bar? And you?"

"Same, I was looking to pick up, looking for someone to take my mind off what I really want" I felt a tremor of fear run through me at her words.

"And that would be…" She shrugged, as if it was self-evident.

"Jane of course, I thought you and her were an item, god knows it looks like it" I tried to smile, though it felt like it was pasted on.

"Jane is my best friend, I care deeply for her, but we are not involved" We were suddenly interrupted by a young woman, leaning over the table.

"May I join you" I looked up; young, moderately pretty, slightly tipsy with some alcoholic courage on board. Abby and I answered in unconscious unison.

"No!" The girl recoiled at the force of our replies and our expressions, before turning and stalking off. Abby half smiled at her retreating back.

"She won't be back anytime soon" I nodded.

"I believe that was the desired outcome" She looked at me again.

"So Maura, you're gay?" I shrugged again.

"Sexuality is fluid; I am attracted to both sexes. Is that the same with you?"

"No, I'm gay. That's why I'm here, I was looking for someone to take my mind off Jane, given I thought she was yours, turns out I was wrong" I shook my head.

"Jane is straight and not interested in a relationship with a woman" Abby looked skeptical.

"And how do you know, have you asked her?"

"No, it did however come up in conversation during a case involving the murder of a young woman" I gestured around us. "Right outside this club actually" Abby nodded.

"So you haven't actually asked her, have you?"

"As I told you, Jane is straight" Abby smiled, slow and a trifle hungrily.

"All it takes is the right woman" I suddenly felt a chill run through me.

"And you believe you are that woman?" She toyed with her glass for a moment before looking up at me.

"I thought you were, but I was wrong. Now it's my turn" I knew I had to head this off, even if it was hopeless.

"I doubt your feelings will be returned"

"Well, I suppose I'm about to find out. Better to find out and know for sure one way or the other rather than letting the pain eat away at you" I closed my eyes for a moment, her words striking deep. I opened them to see Abby staring at me. "You want her don't you?"

I tried to dissemble, but the words stuck in my throat, this was Jane we were talking about, she meant everything to me. I nodded, my words a whisper.

"I love her" Abby sat back, shaking her head slowly.

"If you did, you would've told her. You've had your chance Maura, more than enough chances actually. You should have made your move long ago, if you won't, well I will" She stood, looking down at me.

"I stayed away, as hard as it was because I thought she was yours. If you're too scared to go after what you want, well I'm not" I stood, reaching out to her.

"Wait, Abby…" She ducked my outstretched hand.

"What, wait like you, eating yourself up because you waited too long and someone else came along and took what you wanted? No, I'm done with waiting" She shook her head at me.

"Night Maura" With that she turned and walked away, striding through the crowd and out the door, leaving me standing there very alone and very afraid, as tears fell down my face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes **

**Chapter 5**

The following morning found me sitting at my desk at work, unable to concentrate on the paperwork in front of me. After the confrontation with Abby I'd fled the Merch, driven home and buried myself in my pillows, suffering from crying spells on and off all night, unable to sleep.

I loved Jane, but I had been indeed afraid to pursue her, afraid of the ramifications. I had always admired Jane, over time however that admiration had changed to love. The events of the siege had simply crystalised my thoughts, seeing Jane lying there apparently lifeless on the ground, blood pouring from her torso, I'd felt as if my heart had been ripped from me, lying there with her.

Jane had shot herself to stop Merino from shooting me, she'd nearly died to protect me, that act had changed my feelings for her from a deep but hopeless yearning to a full blown love, Jane was as essential to me as the air I breath, I couldn't do without her.

How then was I to deal with the arrival of a rival for Jane's affections, an affection she may not even reciprocate? I sighed; this had the potential for disaster written all over it. If I was right and Jane was not interested in a relationship with a woman, Abby's approach could destroy the friendship they had. If I blundered in, that could cost me Jane's friendship as well. On the other hand if I was wrong I might lose Jane to Abby.

I was dragged from my miserable musings by a knocking on my door, looking up to see Susie Chang standing there in the doorway. With an effort I forced a smile on my face as I greeted her.

"Good morning Susie" Susie smiled.

"Morning Doctor, sorry to interrupt but you have a visitor" I wasn't expecting anyone…

"Thank you Susie, please show them in" She stepped to one side, allowing Abby Sherman to walk through the door. She looked at me and spoke, straight to the point.

"We need to talk, about Jane" I looked back at Susie.

"Thank you Susie, that will be all" Turning to look at Abby, I took her in, though she looked attractive in boots, jeans, a green singlet top and a denim jacket she appeared tired, a feeling I could empathise with. It looked like neither of us had got much sleep last night. "How can I help you Abby?"

"Like I said, I think we should talk" I glanced at the clock, it was almost eight thirty, there was a good chance Jane would drop in sometime soon, if we were going to talk, we needed to get out of headquarters.

"Let us move our discussion somewhere else, lest Jane walk in and find us" She nodded.

"Good idea" I led her on a brisk walk two blocks away to a cafe that served coffee just the way I liked it. By unspoken agreement we said little until our orders were filled and we were seated. I looked over at her and raised my eyebrow.

"So?" She just nodded.

"So" Obviously she wasn't going to make it easy.

"You said you wanted to talk, in particular about Jane?" She nodded slowly.

"I wasn't all that nice to you last night and I wanted to apologise" I went to say something but she held up her hand. "That was my emotions talking. I thought that you and Jane were together and when I found out you weren't somehow I felt you'd kept that from me deliberately" I shook my head, but she stopped me before I could speak. "Please, hear me out" I nodded and waited as Abby looked down and toyed with her cup.

"I was at the Merch last night because...well after almost dying, I need the release to feel alive. I need to feel wanted, to know that someone wants me, Abby, not PFC Sherman; hero, just Abby"

"I understand; you said you were gay, was it while you were in the military that you discovered that?" Abby rolled her eyes.

"God no, I've known I was gay since I was fourteen. Tried to deny it for a while, tried to be with guys but it didn't work out. I ended up with a good friend out of it, ended up enlisting with him to get away from my family, not that that worked out all that well either. The whole 'don't ask, don't tell' thing in the military makes it hard" She shrugged.

"I came back, basically to the same mess that I left" She suddenly looked at me. "Does your family know?" I shook my head.

"No, the moment never seemed right, they were looking forward to seeing their daughter married off to the right man, when that fell through, they had some hard questions about why, however it turned out that Garret was a murderer, well their interest waned significantly" She nodded a few times.

"My family doesn't really know either, they're strongly religious with no tolerance for gays at all so really no one on my side really knows" She glanced up from her coffee to take me in. "Who did you first tell?" I blinked.

"Honestly, no one really" I waved a hand. "Obviously my occasional female sexual partners knew, but I have not announced it formally" She nodded her head.

"Don't" I stared at her but for a moment she was far away; finally her eyes focused on me again, seeing the question in my eyes. "I had a best friend; she was fifteen, the same age as I was. We did everything together, right up until I told her. I wasn't even interested in her that way, she was just my friend" She looked down at the cup on the table, spinning it slowly between her fingers. "I explained that I just liked girls more than guys, that boys didn't interest me" She snorted a self-depreciating sound.

"I'd done my research online, I was so proud of myself. I knew I was a lesbian and what it meant, and I explained it all to my friend" She looked up at me and smiled sadly, before looking down at her coffee again "She listened to it all and then told me I was queer and a dyke and a faggot and that she never wanted to see me again. She walked away and avoided me from then on, friends for over ten years and she walked away. She never spoke to me again" I nodded slowly, feeling her pain. Finally she looked up at me.

"Why were you at the Merch?"

"Looking for someone to ease the pain that comes from not having the one you love"

"You love Jane" It wasn't a question.

"Yes, she is everything to me"

"Then why haven't you done anything about it? Why haven't you made a move?" I looked at her, surely she wasn't that naive, before I reminded myself she was still young, barely mid-20s. At that age anything seems possible.

"It is not that easy. Jane is my best friend; we are each other's closest friend. All the information I have is that Jane is not interested in a relationship with a woman, any woman. If I had approached her and the approach was unwelcome, it may have jeopardised that friendship, I might have lost Jane forever, something I am unwilling to risk" I looked up from where I had been subjecting my coffee cup to a level of scrutiny it did not deserve, taking in Abby sitting there, watching me with concern in her eyes.

"It is easier for you, you have only recently met Jane, it is not as if you are risking everything to pursue her. You have other friends" Abby tilted her head to look at me.

"You'd be surprised, finding people who will accept me is rare, too many of the people in the military had a hostile response to any hint of homosexuality, even with the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy, that I found it hard to make good friends" Abby shrugged, looking down to where her hands had started toying with her spoon. "I tried to look at a life with guys but it didn't work out, I just couldn't. I even enlisted with some guys I knew from Boston but came home still gay, nothing had changed" Abby sighed and looked up.

"Look Maura, you've been nothing but really nice to me since we met, you're a good person and a good friend" She smiled softly. "A little strange, but I can see why Jane loves you, you're a wonderful person. That's why I had to apologise about last night, I treated you really badly and you didn't deserve it" I wanted to say something but Abby was still speaking.

"I understand your position though. Jane's an amazing person, she's easy to fall for, looks like we've both fallen for the same person, for the same reason" I nodded at her words.

"Jane downplays her strengths, but she is a truly admirable woman, one that is entirely too hard to resist" Abby nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it's why we had to talk. You said Jane's not interested in a relationship with a woman, you sure about that?" I didn't miss the hopeful tone of her voice.

"That is what Jane has indicated. She has joked from time to time that she would flip as she calls it, for something special, such as front row season tickets to the Celtics or Sox, but she has been joking when she says that" Abby's jaw tightened.

"So you're sure she's not interested?" I sadly shook my head.

"Abby, if I thought there was any chance, trust me, I would have done something about it long ago" She sighed bitterly.

"Damn!" I looked at her and nodded slowly.

"Exactly" I paused for a moment. "So when are you going to tell her? Jane deserves to know"

Before Abby could speak, we were interrupted by a low, familiar voice

"And what exactly does Jane deserve to know?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 6**

"_And what__ exactly does Jane deserve to know?_"

We both snapped our heads round, to see the familiar form of Jane standing there, two coffee cups in her hands, an amused look on her face as our eyes flashed to one another, I could see the question as clearly in Abby's eyes as she could in mine, '_oh god, how much did she hear?_'

We both tried to divert her, smiling and inviting her to join us, but the look in her eye told me she'd heard at least enough to spark her instincts.

"Uh ah, no diversions you two, what exactly were you going to tell me about?"

Abby and I both tried to dissemble and divert Jane, but I recognised the look in her eye, I'd seen it before, usually when she was deep in a case, unraveling clues, she'd obviously heard enough to pique her interest and get her curiosity going.

"Let's see, both of my closest friends talking about me, but not willing to tell me what about" She made a 'scoot over' motion and I reluctantly moved around the horseshoe-shaped bench, leaving Jane to take my spot across from Abby. Pushing a take-out coffee cup towards me she continued her musings. "Let's see, my birthday's past and Christmas is a long way away, so it's not that" She gave Abby a hard look, then turned that gaze on me as I shifted in my seat; I recognised hints of Jane's 'interrogation face' as she examined us both.

"I wonder what it could be…" I looked across at Abby, seeing her barely disguised panic, it's one thing to talk about telling Jane you want to be with her, it's another when you're actually faced with the reality, especially when she's in full-on detective mode. Jane was still working things out, musing out loud and watching our reactions.

"Probably about something personal, given you both clammed up the moment I arrived. Now what would do that? Probably something to do with my dating prospects, or lack thereof" I desperately schooled my features into an impassive mask, I hoped successfully, though I didn't miss Abby's eyes suddenly widening, unfortunately neither did Jane.

"I thought so. So what was it, found me a nice guy? I thought that was my Ma's job" Her voice turned a little sharp. "I have no interest in being set up with a guy; I'd have thought you two of all people would know me better than that"

"It was nothing like that" Abby looked stricken. "We were just discussing…" She trailed off at Jane's raised eyebrow, not having previously been on the receiving end, she wasn't prepared for being the victim of the Detective Rizzoli experience. I'd experienced it once or twice and had decided the best course of action was to either try and deflect, which she usually saw right through, or say nothing.

"Discussing…" Jane smiled when neither of us picked up on her prompt and glanced at me. "Guess I'll just have to speculate more" Turning to look at Abby she smiled. "I'd say it has to do with our dating prospects. After all I haven't been seeing anyone since we met, and you apparently haven't either, I know Frankie's been interested and Frost has asked, but you turned them both down. You've mentioned that you weren't seeing anyone you served with and you don't seem to be showing any of the normal signs of seeing anyone" She shrugged. "Y'know, changes in your routine, changes in wardrobe, unnatural mood changes, that 'I've just got laid level of happiness', that sort of thing" Jane threw me a glance but I tried to remain impassive.

"So it probably has something to do with my relationship status. So the pair of you were talking about me and something you had to tell me, that I deserved to know" I held very still, barely breathing, as Abby stared down into her coffee cup. Jane's head turned slowly to stare at me, I felt like I was being dissected, as I swallowed nervously, trying desperately to say nothing and not give Jane anything to go on, god knows this had '_train wreck_' written all over it in ten-foot high flaming letters.

If Jane realised we were both attracted to her, what would she think, what would it do to our friendships… I suddenly realised that Jane was smiling softly at me; before I could say anything she had turned her attention back to Abby.

"So I deserved to know eh?" She smirked, a little of that cocky Rizzoli charm I knew all too well. "Hey Abby, what could that be, that you had to tell me because I deserved to know?" At the slight questioning change in inflection at the end of her sentence, Abby glanced up, to find Jane examining her forensically. I don't know what Jane saw there, but her expression changed, becoming a bit softer, before a smile broke out.

"So, when exactly were you going to ask me out?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes **

**Chapter 7**

"_So__, when exactly were you going to ask me out?_"

I saw Abby's jaw drop, mine was no better; what was Jane saying? The smirk was back, the same one she usually wore when she'd outsmarted the suspect and was snapping her cuffs on them. Abby, to her credit, tried to dodge it.

"What do you mean?" Jane casually shrugged.

"Deduction, you were debating about telling me something, neither of you denied that it was about my relationship status" Her smile turned wry. "Or lack thereof" She shrugged. "Given you've never shown any interest in any guys we've ever seen, it made me wonder if you might be gay. Now there's something you need to tell me, that I need to know" She pulled a small face. "It makes sense, same as your reaction now does, it all adds up to the fact that you're attracted to me" She glanced my way again. "So, when were you going to ask me out?"

I could see Abby debating with herself about how to answer; the point at which she decided to go with the truth was evident, even if I hadn't been closely watching for clues, as I watched her shoulders square and her head come up, a growing fire in her hazel eyes.

"I wanted too, I just wasn't sure you might be interested" Jane's eyebrows leapt upwards in surprise.

"Why, I'm a mess at the best of times, why me of all people?" Jane barked out a half snort, half laugh. "You could have anyone, why the hell would you want me?" Abby sat back and gestured at Jane.

"Have you actually seen you? I mean really seen yourself?" Abby gave an embarassed laugh. "You're gorgeous and confident and strong and don't care what anyone else thinks. You're a real hero, you went through all that and went back out and put yourself on the line again. I couldn't do that, I got out of the army because of what happened, you stayed because it's the right thing to do, you're a lot stronger and braver than I am" Abby shrugged, a sheepish expression on her face as her voice dropped.

"People keep calling me a hero but I'm not, not really, not like you, you're a real hero" Her voice dropped even lower as her eyes dropped to the tabletop. "You're my hero" Jane's denial was abrupt and automatic.

"I'm no hero, I'm just someone doing my job" I ground my teeth in silent frustration at Jane's obstinacy as Abby spoke.

"I think you are, I know Maura here thinks so too, maybe you should stop fighting your friends so much and start listening to us for a change" Before Jane could speak Abby leaned forward.

"Jane, you're incredibly admirable, you're strong and determined and tenacious, you can deal with things that would have broken other people, that's what I admire about you, you're so strong, stronger than me, that's what I was looking for, someone who'd be stronger than me so I don't have to be the strong one all the time, someone that I can just be Abby with, no one else" She leaned forward and tentatively laid her hand over Jane's where it rested on the table.

"I want to be with someone I admire, I respect and who I love. I admire you Jane, I respect you and I'd like to hope that you could love me the way I've come to realise I love you" There was silence at the table for a moment, though I noticed Jane didn't move her hand from under Abby's. The silence stretched on for an almost uncomfortable time before it got too much for Abby. "Jane, what do you want?"

Jane sat there for a moment, her face calm, almost serene, a far cry from what I had expected; had I completely misread all the signs? Our little bubble was quiet as we filtered out the noise around us, Jane glanced at me then back at Abby before she spoke, her voice a little reflective.

"That's a question I don't get asked a lot. Most people don't really want to know" She looked around the café for a moment before looking back at us then speaking to Abby.

"I want someone I can be real with, someone who sees me, Jane, not Rizzoli the detective, not Rizzoli the hero and sure as hell not Rizzoli the victim, someone who understands that I'm a mess, that I've still got demons that haunt me, that I need to be wanted for me, not some media beat up" As she sighed my heart went out to her, Jane had obviously given this so much thought.

"I want someone I can love, someone I love for being them, no pretences, no artifice, just them, to have them love me the same way, so that when I take off the badge and the gun and the job, when all I'm left with is just me, with my scars and flaws and demons and problems" As she spoke Jane lifted her hands up in front of her face, looking at first the backs of her hands, then turning them to regard the palms, taking in the memories of Hoyt's work as my heart ached for her, before Jane looked up at Abby.

"Someone that'll love me the way I want to love them. Completely and honestly and all in, especially in the bad times when it's hard; not just the good times when it's easy. Someone brave and smart and who loves me for me"

Jane sighed again as she dragged a hand across her face, I could tell opening herself up like this was a struggle, Jane was never one for laying her emotions bare I front of others, to expose her raw emotions, even to her closest friends was obviously hard. As I watched, suffused with love and sympathy and care, Jane forced a smile at us both and spoke.

"I want the whole nine yards Abby, I want to be loved by someone special and love them back, I want to wake up with the knowledge that I have the love of someone special and that I'll never be alone again and that they know the same thing, cause when I do love like that, it's only ever going to be once, to one person" She shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I s'pose I want the whole fairy tale, find the right one and know its love and that they're all I'll ever need and that I'm all they would ever need or want.

I had to fight hard to keep a tight rein on my emotions; I'd rarely seen Jane so emotional, so open and so honest with her feelings. I felt a sadness welling inside me, that despite supposedly being Jane's best friend, it had taken Abby to it draw her out, that without Abby's presence, Jane would not have revealed herself like this to me. I fought bitterly to keep the signs of my distress from Jane, it wouldn't help anyone, let alone Jane to know how her words had affected me, knowing her she'd think it was her fault; Jane was very good at shouldering the blame for things going wrong; especially if it wasn't her fault.

"Honestly, I just want to love someone who loves me the same way" She laughed once, a bitter sound. "Don't ask for much do I?" Abby smiled happily.

"I don't think it's much to ask for, we all want that, to be in love and happy" Jane nodded slowly, smiling gently at Abby, making me feel even worse, I felt like I was intruding on something private, that I was seeing Jane leave without me, that I was being left behind.

Here was Jane talking love and happiness and forever with Abby and I was losing her before my eyes. I'd rarely ever felt this miserable, ever. I had to get away, I was determined I wouldn't cry in front of Jane, I had to be happy for her, if Abby was the one to do that, then I had no right to protest, as she'd said, I'd had my chance and let her slip through my fingers because I was scared.

Before I could say or do anything, Jane suddenly turned to look at me, her eyebrow rising.

"Now then, there's you. Why haven't you asked me out then?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 8**

"_Now then, there's you. Why haven't you asked me out then?_"

I felt myself starting to panic, I couldn't, I shouldn't be here, I felt the first stages of panic and I desperately sought for an escape.

"Oh, look at the time, I really should be heading back; Lieutenant Cavanagh will be looking for us…" I trailed off as Jane held up her hand, fishing out her cell. 30 seconds later she put it away.

"As you just heard Cavanagh's knows I need some personal time to deal with something important and that you are helping me, so no, we're not going anywhere" Her brown eyes landed on me; while I could see the amusement in their depths, there were still hints of the same interrogating tone to her voice that made her such a good detective. "Answer the question"

"Jane…" I trailed off, realising that I couldn't dissemble. Jane smiled fondly at me and then looked over at Abby, shrugging.

"If Maura tries to lie she breaks out in hives, in really bad cases she goes all vaso-vagel and faints. Sure fire way to make sure she's being honest" Abby's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Really, you're kidding" Jane slowly shook her head, though her eyes remained on me.

"Nope" She smiled a little wider at me. "Well…"

"I..." Jane was right, I couldn't lie. "I did not ask you because I did not think the approach would be welcome" I got a patented Rizzoli smirk.

"You sure about that Maura, that sounds awfully like a guess" I didn't miss the teasing tone, before she glanced across to Abby. "Maura, if you haven't already noticed, really, really doesn't like guessing" Abby nodded slowly.

"I noticed" Ignoring her editorialising I spoke directly to Jane.

"But you're not interested, not that way" Jane just looked at me, the hint of a small smile playing on her lips as something danced in her eyes.

"What makes you so sure?" It felt as if the world had upended and I was struggling to keep up.

"But you're, you're not gay, you run a mile at the thought of it" My voice had risen as I spoke and I forced myself to calm down lest other patrons overhear us. Jane remained damnably calm throughout though.

"Says who?" I tilted my head to look at her, somehow wondering what happened to the Jane I knew.

"Every time we have a discussion about sex you get uncomfortable and change the subject" Every time I reminded myself, every time. Jane however was unfazed.

"That's precisely the reason Maura, you talk about sex and I'm looking for love" I didn't know what to say, I was struggling to keep up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jane shrugged, toying with her coffee cup for a moment and then looked up, her warm brown eyes full of sincerity.

"I could ask the same thing about you, but I'll probably get the same answer I'd give you, you mean too much to me to fuck it up by making a move I didn't think you'd welcome"

"But I had told you that sexuality was fluid, I thought you understood" Jane's lips curled down in disdain.

"Every person I'd ever seen you with was a guy, Slucky being a particularly disgusting example" For a moment I almost smiled, Jane **really** didn't like her trauma surgeon, not that I blamed her, the man had turned out to be an arrogant, sexist, self-centred prig.

"But Jane, that is because I did not want to flaunt other women in front of you, in case it made you uncomfortable" Jane shrugged again, conveying a wealth of meaning in a simple gesture.

"Maura, seeing you with a parade of guys who don't deserve you and who aren't worth your time made me uncomfortable too" '_Oh_' I was stunned at her admission.

"I didn't realise…" Jane looked over at Abby who was following our discussion raptly and smiled. Smiled!

"Dumbest genius I know" I frowned, desperately attempting to hold on to a reality that seemed to be spinning out of control.

"All I have ever heard about or seen you date have been men" Jane frowned, her words explaining why.

"Yeah, well you don't have an Italian mother from hell with a hard on for grandkids trying to get you married to every guy with a pulse who crosses her path" I almost smiled at her accurate summation of Angela, before a thought occurred to me.

"I was not aware you were even open to the thought of a relationship with a woman"

"Yeah well, it has to be the right woman" She shrugged. "It's been a while, a long while actually, no one I'd really be interested in came along, then you wandered in and I was interested, but then you told me you weren't my type, plus you dated a long line of men" She pulled a face. "I got the message that you weren't interested in me that way either"

I felt something dreadfully painful blossom deep in my chest at her words, we'd misread each other's signals, had done for years. Jane meanwhile had shifted to look over at Abby, a soft smile appearing.

"Then into my life waltzes another amazing woman, you"


	9. Chapter 9

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 9**

_"Then into my life waltzes another amazing woman, you" _

Abby blushed at Jane's words and smile, looking away for a moment as I looked on, a sick feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, as Jane spoke again.

"Abby, I think you're really incredible, I could so easily love you, you're everything I've looked for in someone, kind, strong, determined, independent, caring and one hell of a woman. I can see us living together, laughing at the world and you convincing me to go bungy jumping or something equally stupid, I could see us waking up together, we could be incredible" She shrugged as Abby blushed to her hair roots.

"I've seen enough of your body to know that it's pretty amazing. I'm not scared of your scars; god knows I have enough of my own. I really could love you; I'm already halfway there now"

Abby looked away from Jane for a moment, staring down at her coffee cup as she obviously got her emotions under control before dragging her eyes up to meet Jane's, the sadness in her voice palpable.

"But you're not are you?" Jane frowned, obviously looking for the right words. Finally she spoke.

"Honestly, no, not yet; I thought Maura was straight and not interested, if you'd asked me out I would have said yes in a heartbeat, I'd already thought about you, god knows you're gorgeous enough that any man or woman would be honoured to be with you" Jane shrugged. "The thought of being with you, well it was getting to the point that if you hadn't asked, I might have" I could see hope and disappointment warring in Abby's eyes and my heart went out to her.

"The honest truth is that I'm already in love with someone very special, while falling in love with someone equally special. If Maura hadn't come clean today, I'd probably be dating you sooner rather than later, but it'd be because you're you, not as some substitute or surrogate" Jane grimaced, she could see the hurt in both women's eyes. No matter what she said she was going to hurt someone she cared about a lot.

"Abby, the only reason I can't date you is that Maura was in my heart first. I love her and she means everything to me" My heart leapt at her words, as I desperately tried not to shout out loud in joy, before I suddenly realised what Jane's words were doing to Abby.

"You mean almost as much to me, even though we've only known each other for a few months, you're remarkable Abby, someone very special and deserve someone who loves you as much as you truly deserve" Abby's hazel eyes were full of sadness, something we could both clearly see.

"That's not you though, is it?" Jane grimaced, she could see she was hurting Abby and it was obviously painful, as much to Jane as it was to Abby. I knew Jane, she hid it well, but under the persona she showed the world was a woman with a big heart, a woman who cared.

"No, it's not me, my heart belongs to Maura, you deserve someone whose heart belongs completely to you, you're no one's substitute Abby, you deserve to be loved by someone who gives you the total devotion you deserve" I could see Abby's eyes start to fill with tears, causing something within me to clench.

Not only was Abby Jane's friend, she was mine as well, to see her in such distress and to know I had partially caused it was wrenching. Surprising me though, Abby demonstrated some of the same courage that had served her so well on the battlefield, wiping her eyes once and sitting back. To my astonishment she even smiled.

"I'm happy for you Jane. If it can't be me making you happy, then I'm glad it's Maura, she loves you, she has for years" I looked at Abby, understanding the effort these words were costing. Standing Abby stood there, looking down at us. "I'm gonna go now…"

"Not so fast" Jane spoke as she stood. "You don't get to run Abby" She stood there and held her arms open in invitation. "I have two extraordinary women in my life, I don't wanna lose you; I can't lose you" They practically fell into each other's arms as I slid my way out of the booth to join them. I stood there for a moment, hearing them murmuring to each other, too low to hear what was being said, though from the fierceness of the hug they were sharing I could imagine some of it.

Finally they moved apart and stood there, both working hard to keep their emotions in check. I stepped a little closer and carefully laid my hand on her arm.

"Abby, you are my friend too, I'm sorry…" I was suddenly swept up in a crushing hug, one I returned, as she whispered in my ear.

"Take care of her Maura…and if you ever hurt her…" I nodded unconsciously.

"I will, she means everything to me" Abby nodded once and stepped back, letting me go. She looked at Jane again and forced a smile.

"Well I'll leave you two, I have things to do, places to be" With another nod, she turned and walked away, leaving us there, my hand unconsciously seeking out Jane's for support as we both felt bereft.

As Abby disappeared through the door of the café Jane turned to me and I could see the same question in her eyes as I was sure she saw in mine, '_what have we done?_'


	10. Chapter 10

**Doctor Detective Soldier Heroes**

**Chapter 10**

_-Dinner, 7PM this Fri night, Raglans restraunt; dress 2 impres. Jane_-

The text had arrived that morning, complete with spelling mistakes, shocking a thoroughly miserable Abby out of her stupor.

Abby didn't know what it meant; didn't it work out with Maura? One thing she knew for certain was that Jane would never string her along as a substitute, so what the hell was going on?

Did she want to spend time with Maura and Jane? She knew both of them well enough to now they would never flaunt the fact they were together in front of them. Despite what had happened three days ago, both of them were still her friends, still cared for her and still wanted her to be happy.

In the end she'd mentally shrugged and gone searching through her closet for a nice dress, something that was classy but still showed enough skin to be interesting. She still remembered Jane's words about her body being amazing, how good they could be together. It made her shiver a little, remembering Jane's voice saying those wonderful words.

Mentally she chastised herself, she'd lost, Maura had won and she'd had lost and that was all there was too it. She was still brooding when her phone dinged, announcing another message.

_-Stop thinkng ur self in2 a mess, i can hear it clear across town, b there and look hot. Jane_- Abby had to bite back a laugh; Jane really did know her well.

Shrugging, Abby examined her wardrobe, before grabbing her bag and heading out, maybe some retail therapy would help, if nothing else it'd be nice to wear something to dinner that wasn't a uniform, something feminine.

Sitting in Raglan's at a table reserved in the name of Rizzoli, seeing the looks cast at her, some curious, some appraising, some speculative, Abby wondered what the hell she was doing. Where was Jane? It was almost seven and she wasn't here.

Suddenly she became aware that the Maître d' was leading someone over her way, in the restaurant's gloom she saw a mass of dark hair, slacks and heels, realising Jane was here and wondering where Maura was, when the woman stepped into the light and Abby realised the woman wasn't Jane. She must have been led to the wrong table.

The other woman smiled and thanked the Maître d', then turned to Abby; she was gorgeous, tanned skin, dark, curly hair, warm brown eyes and a smile that lit up the room.

"Hi, you're Abby right?" Abby nodded, wondering what the hell was going on. "My name's Riley, Riley Cooper, Jane suggested we should meet up, she said we'd have a lot to talk about"

"I'm sorry Ms Cooper..."

"Riley, please"

"Riley, but I'm not sure what's going on"

"Jane and I work together, I'm a detective, Jane and I are friends, we've been wing men on nights out, so I know all about you and her, god knows Jane's drowned enough sorrows about you over the last few weeks" '_She had?'_.

"Oh" Riley indicated the other chair at the table.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Abby nodded, looking the woman over as she sat, a slim figure, deep crimson slacks, a crisp cream blouse and four inch patent leather pumps, she really was gorgeous.

"Uh, yeah, sure" Abby blushed a little as the other woman sat down. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm usually a little more articulate than this" Riley grinned at her, it lit up her face.

"Hey, it's cool, remind me to kick Jane's ass for dumping you in this mess" Abby couldn't help it, she chuckled.

"I'm sure she had good reasons" Riley leaned forward and smiled.

"Now you're being way too nice" Abby ducked her head a little shyly, wondering what the hell Jane had said to Riley.

"So you work with Jane?"

"Yeah, kinda, Jane's in Homicide and I'm in Narcotics, there aren't all that many female detectives in the BPD so we sort of look out for each other" Abby nodded, there were similarities between the two detectives she was already picking up, more than just the looks, Riley had much of the same self-confidence Abby had found so attractive in Jane. It made sense she supposed, women making it in a very male world, used to not showing weakness.

"So why on earth did Jane ask you to join me for dinner?" Riley shrugged.

"She just said that she knew this beautiful woman who was lonely and hurting and I should help cheer her up" Abby raised an eyebrow.

"Oh did she?" Riley looked a little abashed.

"She also said if I didn't make you happy, I'd be busted back to Vice so fast it'd make my head spin; working street corners doing sting operations dressed like a hooker" Riley suddenly laughed, that was so Jane.

"I'm sorry that she put pressure on you like that" Riley grinned back at her, completely unabashed.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you" Abby smiled suddenly.

"Oh no, I'm just tossing up whether to thank Jane for caring, or kill her for putting me in this situation in the first place" Abby suddenly realised how hurtful what she'd had been said as Riley leaned back. Unconsciously she leaned forward, laying her hand on Riley's.

"Not you, I didn't mean that, I meant setting us up on a blind date like this" Riley nodded slowly, her eyes dropping onto Abby's hand resting on hers, before she flipped her hand under Abby's, so her hand rested in the detective's.

"Well, it's been a while since I've been on a blind date…" Abby smiled a little shyly.

"So Riley, what's your batting record?"

"Could be better, but I'm kinda hoping it'll improve" Abby caught her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, feeling something warm start to come alive again deep within her, before shyly smiling.

"So how's that coming?" Riley smiled, rather obviously letting her eyes roam over Abby's face and body quite blatantly, the Kelly green gown and silver jewellery highlighting her red hair and pale skin, before her eyes came up to capture Abby's, making the redhead smile, Riley really was quite gorgeous.

"Looking pretty good right now" They laughed together, neither woman in any hurry to move their hands, both enjoying the warm contact.

From a booth in the back of the restaurant, two pairs of eyes watched them, crinkling with smiles as they watched the women at the other table laugh. Sparkling hazel eyes turned to warm brown.

"Are you sure you are not Jewish Jane? You certainly seem to make a good yenta" Jane smiled softly, looking down to see their hands linked across the table.

"I just want her to be happy Maura, I found my happiness with you, but I hurt her, I didn't want her to be left alone because I have you"

"That is so admirable Jane; you really are a good person"

"You make me want to be a good person Maura, I want to be worthy of you" Maura smiled.

"Oh no Jane, it is me who wants to be worthy of you" Jane smiled softly at her words, but Maura interrupted before she could speak. "You chose me over Abby, she is a wonderful person, anyone would be honoured to be her partner, but you chose me"

"Really there was no choosing about it, you already had my heart, I was in love with you, have been for ages. I really, really like Abby, I could have loved her, but I already love you"

"What made you think of Riley?" Jane shrugged.

"She's beautiful, smart and sexy and swings both ways. She'd actually hinted that she would be there for me if I needed her, but I needed a friend more than a friend with benefits, especially someone from work, so we'd always stayed just friends. We'd go to the Robber and talk out our issues over beers; you get to learn a lot about people that way" Maura tilted her head slightly.

"How did you learn she was bisexual?" Jane shrugged gently, smiling in memory.

"It kinda came out when she asked if I could find out from you if one of your people, Susie Chang, was seeing anyone" Maura's eyes widened.

"I believe that Susie is both straight and seeing someone"

"Good thing then that we both know someone who isn't either" Maura's eyes drifted away from warm brown ones to the other table, seeing the laughing faces and flashing smiles and noting that, like them, both women were still holding hands.

"Yes it is, it certainly is"


End file.
